Five Festival Alternatives for the Eternally Broke

Festival

5 Festival Alternatives for the Eternally Broke

Technology is pretty great, isn’t it? I like that I can photograph anything in high quality on my surprisingly cheap smartphone at any time, and I enjoy the fact that I can peer into people’s lives whilst sitting on the bus like a digital peeping Tom thanks to Facebook. Come summertime, though, the combination of these two erstwhile conveniences is just a little bit grating for the eternally broke.

This is never more evident than during festival season, where the viewing of my friends in short shorts at Glastonbury is an eternal reminder that I chose perpetual studenthood over getting a real job. I can’t afford to spend my summer traipsing about at festivals, and I’m understandably bitter as a result. Here are 5 alternatives if you too suffer from being eternally broke:

One

Go Camping


If you enjoy the experience of being damp, dry, cold and stiflingly hot at the same time, then why not simply transpose the camping element of festivals somewhere else? Camping is a good way to have a holiday on the cheap – you’ll barely miss the other stuff at a festival. Probably.

Two

Go to an All-dayer


While Greenfields festivals are entrenched as the cornerstones of festival season, there are alternatives to the atypical music festival experience. Plenty of all-day fests and even free/cheap urban festivals have cropped up in recent years – so dig a little deeper and you can still enjoy some great live music this summer.

Three

Find a Local Beer or Food Festival


Drinking is a pretty big part of the festival experience, but for the ale connoisseur, tins of (name brand) lager sold at high prices by the (name brand) lager sponsor of your chosen (name brand) festival is hardly a titillating prospect. Find yourself a good local beer, cider or food festival this summer and you’ll forget all about drinking over-priced fizz in a field. You’ll probably be drinking in a car park instead, which is loads better.

Four

Get a Job, Hippy


Quit moaning and get a job – it’s hard to be envious of your friends when you’re too busy to check the various social network accounts you frequent out of boredom.

Five

Go Online, and Ruin your Friends’ Good Time


Alternatively, why not comment on every festival-related post you see in a deeply embittered and resentful manner? If you can’t have fun, you may as well ruin somebody else’s.

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