Paying Utilities: the 3 Types of Students
According to a study that definitely exists by Black, Bianco and Katzenjammer, in shared houses, students assume traditional roles in order to prosper. Some students regress into a childlike state, living exclusively from turkey dinosaurs and potato smileys. Others assume a parental role, revelling in the responsibility afforded to them by their emancipation from a child-like role. Some students however, reject these roles altogether – they can be found cooking beef bourguignon in their underpants at 4 am. This study that absolutely, definitely exists (honestly) can be extrapolated into energy bills. There are three types of students when it comes to paying utilities. Which one are you?
In a house share that contains a responsible party, their will inevitably be an irresponsible member too. It’s Gramscian. Well, not really, but y’know. Our kid is that student – the one who lives with the carefree responsibilities of a child. They eat spaghetti hoops for breakfast, and they happily watch Adventure Time in bed whilst deadlines accumulate. Our kid harbours a similar attitude to paying utilities too – they may have spent their energy budget on crisps for a laugh, or perhaps the thought that people actually have to pay for heating and water just never occurred to them. Our kid isn’t a fundamentally bad person; they just need a bit of nurturing, and perhaps some regular pestering for their share of the utility bills.
For the yin that is Our kid, the yang exists in the form of Ma/Pa – the parental figure that lives upstairs in the largest and most suspiciously tidy room. Ma/Pa is the student that periodically cooks food that is not found in a tin and/or jar. They seem to soak up responsibility like a sponge – sometimes not enjoying this burden, but accepting it with a sigh of inevitability. Ma/Pa can often be heard saying things like “Where is my navy jumper? Not that one – my other navy jumper”, and “It’s actually pronounced Keen-wah.” Ma/Pa will take this approach to daily life into paying bills too – usually assuming control of the process, and taking charge of collecting money from each housemate. Thanks Ma/Pa – don’t ever change. Sorry I took your last Yakult.
In the normal everyday balance of the universe, their exists another force – one that is neither good nor evil, an unpredictable wildcard whose actions contain no rhyme or reason. This is the Maverick, a student whose existence is pure chaos. A Maverick might disappear for three days and come back with an exercise bike and a fish tank. Two days later, the tank contains breakfast cereal and a flannel, and the bike is listed on Gumtree. A Maverick may without warning take a shining to a local cat and bring them back to your house. Paying utility bills is an equally unpredictable experience for the Maverick. They may be the first to pay their share, perhaps they’ll pay an oddly specific amount for no discernable reason, or maybe they’ll pay in instalments of pizza slices and loose change.
Whichever category you fall into, Glide provides services and utilities to make bills simple for shared households. Visit here for more information.