The Best Movies to Watch in an Energy Crisis
I can still remember my hedonistic undergrad days before entering postgraduate study, where the summers seemed to last forever, student loans arrived in time to pay your rent, and peer reviewed journal articles held no significance in my everyday life. Thems were the days.
However, once I remove the rose-tinted specs, and put on my normal mauve-tinted frames (it’s my look, alright?) I also start to remember some less pleasant moments from my 3 years as an undergraduate student: thinking that tinned soup was an acceptable substitute for pasta sauce, sharing with housemates who used the bath as an ashtray, and living in houses with ornamental central heating systems.
That last one was particularly bad, as losing your boiler in the heart of winter is not a pleasant experience. When faced with an energy crisis like this, with the cold creeping in around you, there isn’t much you can do except call your landlord, turn the kettle on and bury yourself under a pile of blankets with some films. Here are the best movie series to watch in an energy crisis, as approved by someone who has lived through one:
Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit Trilogies
In a hole in the ground, there lived a student. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole… no actually that sounds about right. Ah Frodo, the Lord of the Rings trilogy squared, or should that be sextology? Hexology? Duo-trilogy? I’m focusing on these irrelevant minutiae to mirror Tolkien’s writing style – humour me.
Anyway, Peter Jackson’s ‘epic’ (i.e. long) fantasy tale featuring dwarves, elves and small people from Somerset is just about perfect when stuck in an energy crisis. From the moment these happy go lucky scamps leave Sedgemoor to get a refund on some unwanted jewelry, hilarity is bound to ensue. After several twists and turns, including finding a senile Paul Daniels wearing a loin cloth, and playing tag in the woods with Sean Bean and some orcs, Frodo and his lovely husband Sam finally arrive at a jewelers miles away in Stoke. With sexy results.
If you just can’t get enough of these little blighters, in The Hobbit trilogy you can watch Tim from The Office messing about with some trolls. With sexy results. With over 78 hours of New Zealand establishing shots to watch, the Lord of the Rings films should keep you entertained until either your boiler is fixed or science advances past the need for central heating. Whichever comes first.
Wallace and Gromit
Wallace and Gromit acts as the antithesis to the Lord of the Rings trilogies, with Nick Park cast as some sort of anti-Jackson, having mastered the ability to edit a film into a cinematic hors d’ouevres to be consumed quickly on top of some blini. In an energy crisis, Wallace and Gromit is the perfect way to keep the chill at bay. You can pretty much knock off A Close Shave in between cups of tea – cracking choice Gromit.
The Twilight Saga
Okay, hear me out. You’re probably questioning me somewhat on this choice, but everything on this list has been carefully selected for a specific reason and The Twilight films offer a very clear purpose when trapped in a freezing house during an energy crisis.
You see, Twilight is terrible and there are three legitimate reactions to watching a set of meandering films of this ilk:
A) You might well enjoy Twilight, whether that enjoyment is ironic or genuine, several hours of something enjoyable should pass the time.
B) Your blood will boil with rage at having to watch such rubbish films, which will at least keep you warm, and
C) it’ll send you to sleep because my god Twilight is boring.
There you go, 3 good reasons why the Twilight films are perfect for an energy crisis. Plus R-Patz, so 4 good reasons.
Toy Story
Let me paint you a word picture: it’s the darkest depths of winter, your heating has been down for days, and at this point you’re genuinely worried that all of your t-shirts will be stretched by your permanent nipple pokies. You’re concerned for your health, you’re stressing over the fact that no one has fixed the problem yet, and you’re worried that the landlord will find a way to charge you for a new boiler.
This is a grim scene, and the last thing you need is a serious film to depress you further. That’s where Pixar come in, Toy Story fits neatly into this list ‘cause you know, there are three of them. Frankly though, you can add any Disney/Pixar movie in here and it’ll do the job of taking your mind off things for a bit. Except Frozen, you should probably avoid a film where everyone is cold all the time.
What films would you watch in an energy crisis? Add your comments, or post a letter to Blue Peter if you want. I don’t care.
